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Let me start off by saying, I do not give critiques often. This is the second critique I've ever given on Deviant art. I've only been so emotionally moved by someone's art this much once before.

It's not that I haven't read poems like this before. I've read ones with similar themes. The difference is, you made it work so perfectly, it's impossible for me to find any fault with it. I don't give critiques to tell people what they're doing wrong. I think they hear that from enough people. I do critiques to tell them what they're doing right. Sometimes we forget that it's just as important to know what is working as it is to know what is not working.

Comparing the person's kisses with a tornado is great.

I really love "With these miles and miles of bodies and hollow space between our magnetic hearts-"

And the last two lines sum everything up so deliciously well. xD

I'm no expert on poetry, but I do know when something I read is good. This poem is beyond good. The flow, structure, figurative language, the mood, the picture you paint... it comes together so nicely. You're very skilled. Don't stop writing.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
19 out of 19 deviants thought this was fair.


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